2 Everyday challenges

Example 1:
Max wants to go to Majorca again with his mates. Maria doesn’t understand him. Why does he want to go to Majorca without her and why Majorca anyway? He’s been going there once a year for three years and she has kept quiet until now – although her displeasure had been plain to see. Until now she had been content to be “in a bad mood” for a while. However, she does not see the need to put up with it any more. She says: “Listen Max, I don’t think it is nice for you to fly to Majorca and leave me here alone. I don’t want you to go on holiday without me and especially not with your mates and especially not to Majorca.”
Although he truly loves her, Max likes to have occasional free time without Maria. He responds as follows:
“If you love me, you should not try to con-fine me like that. A relationship is not a prison. I should be able to spend a few relaxing days away without you making a big fuss of it. After all, they are my friends and you don’t like them anyway. Listen, I have thought about it and I have reached a deci-sion. I am going.”
He is a bit irritated because he can’t do what he wants but even more so because he feels that Maria is criticizing him again.
On the other hand, Maria is hurt. Mean-while, she has come to suspect that he wants to travel without her because he wants to cheat on her. Inwardly, she asks herself: “Do I want to remain with Max if he is going to behave like this?”

Example 2:
Julia is a typical Latino. She is very hospitable and always manages to create a warm, inviting atmosphere. She usually greets her male friends with a hug and a kiss. She sees this as quite normal. One should not read anything into it – she believes.
She has been married to Adrian for five years. It is his second marriage. One day Adrian sees one of her friends kissing her on the lips – with her obvious permission. He frowns and decides to talk to her about it. He does not think it is good. He thinks it is a touch too intimate.
When the guests are gone and they are clearing up, Adrian says: “Listen Julia, I saw you kissing L on the lips. I don’t like it.  Please don't do that in the future.”
Julia is aggrieved. What is Adrian’s problem? Why is he upset over a little kiss that means nothing? Does he think I am going to cheat on him with L? How ridiculous! She sounds testy when she responds: “Sweetheart, it doesn’t mean anything – don’t let it bother you. It is just the way I greet people – nothing else. You shouldn’t get upset about it – or do you really suspect something?”
Adrian does not respond. He feels misunderstood. Furthermore, it bothers him that Julia’s reaction is so testy and that she had tried to placate him. Maybe there is more to this than simple cultural behavior.
Julia also notices that her assertion has not mollified her husband. However, she too remains quiet when he does not say any-thing. She feels she has been criticized. This uptight German mentality gets on her nerves sometimes.